While I thought that I
was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die. ~ Leonardo Da Vinci
"Why She?"
- destiny's masterplan
What do you do when nothing is going your
way? Our natural response to negative situations is anger toward someone or something.. But she blame herself... Her
heart is filled with shock, grief, guilt, anger, and depression. Her feelings are painful and hard to deal
with. She hears the triumph of death which signals the end of a life, and the impossibility of a return.
Everytime she had a bad situation she
took it in a positive way. may be there is something meaningful and powerful coming along it. may be it is a way
to teach her somethin new, may be it is a wake up call. But, what if there is no light at the end of the tunnel.. isn't
that her situation.. yes !! she is half dead.
Despite the centuries-old human struggle to 'domesticate' death,
the moment itself often remains frightening to everyone. Medical science looks helpless towards her terminal disease.
Sometimes it tends to make terminally ill patients like her into prisoners of technology. As Maurice Maeterlinck says
"All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing." In these situations, who wins?
who lose? for whom?
The day which we fear as our
last is but the birthday of eternity. ~ Seneca
Who is going to miss her the most? her
parents? her only sibling? her boyfriend of many years? her close friends who she grew up with? her pals on the net?... yes
everyone will miss her. They loved her all these years unconditionaly. they meant a lot to her, and so did she to all of them.
But for her, may be she'll miss her boyfriend more than anyone else.
It seemed to be a perfect match. They both loved driving and drove many places together. She loved to rest
her head on him and let him tangle and play with her hair. She loved being close with him and listening to his heartbeats. They
never cared what they did when they were together, all they wanted was to spend more time in each other's company. She
dreamed of a life together since about the first time they met. Many thought they were an example of a perfect couple,
and to a certain extent... they were. they smiled, they laughed, they cried, they shared, and above all..., they loved and
cared.
Hey, but destiny is taking its turn. death is showing
no mercy. may be it is blind. or may be it doesn't know what love is... or what it is to love. She is filled with guilt. All
the dreams tht she had all these years is goin to be in vain. Now she tries everything she can to avoid meeting him in person.
He still loves her, and she knows it. but what is she goin to give in return? she have nothing to give other than some salty
tears. She prays so hard that he'll find a perfect girl. What else can she do for him?
"Since the day of my birth,
my death began its walk. It is walking toward me, sometimes hurrying." ~ Jean Coctea
How is her parents coping with this?
She cant really face them. What do she tell her? Everytime before talking to them she stops to wipe the tears that refused
to stop spilling over her eyes. She tries to act just the way she always used to be... just the smiling person she was
all her life. But her parents knew that smile was a part of her make-up. The long and interesting conversations they had often turned
to be short and emotional. She haven't seen her sister smiling in days.
Adam and Eve, the first parents, had
to look on as one son perished... Adam and Eve and for far too many parents down through the ages, there
has been no well of rescue, no saving response to the anguished cry.
She made a lot of friends during
her short span of life. Her friend from childhood, who grew with her and who saw all the ups and downs of her life is the
most valued one. All these years there wasn't a single day that passed without them talking. Now, she cant even look at her
face, they don't talk as they often did. Her friends boyfriend is another person that she'll miss. He was like her brother
to her... a brother born to different parents.
Then she have her friends from school, college and church.
They have all seen the best in her and loved her. But at time she thinks she'll miss the two angels on the net than anyone
else. The two people who she've never seen and so far away, but close at heart. She never thought friendship can be dressed
up in this form. It was unbelieveable, and she loves both of them... soo dearly. they did too...
Life is pleasant, Death is peaceful. Its the transition that is troublesome.
~ Issac Asimov
She loved children, and she always tried
to be with them. That was her profession. Eventhough she was far from perfect, she always tried to be the perfect
example while working with them. The kidz loved her more than anyone else who worked with them. To the children, she wasn't
a teacher or councilor, she was one among them. who played with them, who laughed with them, and who listened to them.
She just don't know what to
do anymore. the harder she fight to take care of herself and be strong, the harder life fights back at her. For
her, suffering is not just physical, but psychological and spiritual. she really hate this hell called her life !! atleast
for her..., earth is not the land of the living; it is the land of the dying.
YES !!! her days are numbered, there might
be no tomorrow, this could be the hour of dying, she is closer to heaven, she'll rest in peace.
But if she had to pay a hefty price
for her life, friendship and everything she had here… even just for a day.... she would do it.
Why?
Because it was worth it, and because she loved it… forever.
Good bye, proud world!
I’m going home; Thou art not my friend; I'am not thine. - Ralph
Waldo Emerson
